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Fine. [SIDE A]

by San Galel

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1.
Eyes dry wide but not awoken Asleep still but open My Words unspoken I’m just hoping morning silence isn’t broken Does the world that I was born in Have me seeing but not watching Like some kinda fish Eyes dry wide but not awoken Asleep still but open My Words unspoken I’m just hoping morning silence isn’t broken Does the world that I was born in Have me seeing but not watching Like some kinda fish Eyes dry n wide But not awoken Asleep still but open My words unspoken I’m just hoping praying life won’t break this moment I can’t yet take this lovely world that I was born in Can't keep my eyes open Early morning fire spoken An uninspired poet Waking up at 5 for it Coffee poured tea steeping Sugar coated peacekeeping Self centered self seeking Practiced inner public speaking Keep me in this headspace Keep my feet straight Head on the ground Fistful of keys Maybe one can get me out of this town Free me of promo for my proper noun Or just stay underground until I'm underground I’ve been hiding myself Is it too late to look now? I’ve been seeking the frequency of an invisible sound I used to think I couldn’t see it so it wasn’t around But I was just covering my ears cause the unknown was too loud I’m begging Please Don’t wake me up Don’t wake me up I’m finally dreaming Uh Kill em Flattening bots like a manilla Folding thoughts Compressing Limiting Not As I empty pot after coffee pot Loving thoughts 'll cut it Not that I'm above it Cause I love it When you let me down Give me material When you’re not around You lemme draw you on the paper of my paper crown You lemme draw you on the paper of my paper crown
2.
I forgot my headphones at home Feels like being nude Head lacking pressure from the tunes Guess I'll just listen to the room I forgot my headphones at home Feels like being nude Head lacking pressure from the tunes Guess I'll just listen to the room I forgot my headphones at home Feels like being nude Head lacking pressure from the tunes Guess I'll just listen to the room I forgot my headphones at home Feels like being nude Head lacking pressure from the tunes Guess I'll just listen to the room I'm not upset Not yet Just off in a way Wake n bake waiting for something to take me from my day dreaming joys Feinding for noise Meaningful choice Drown out my voice Remake and destroy my sense of time Leave me desensitized Leave me stemming the tide Till the sound subsides Make way for something better than I So I guess I'll be here waiting till I die Now it’s common thought Caught between quiet moments I fought to stop My opponent always winning Always on top And Thoughts can be addictive Seemingly unrestricted Spittin lyrics so slippery You'd think that my tongue is liquid It's the silence that did it Rewire my mind for a minute Until returns are diminished Envision images vivid Just living rent free in my mind I forgot my headphones I forgot my headphones at home I forgot my headphones I forgot my headphones I forgot my headphones at home I forgot my headphones
3.
I don't act cool Like I used to (Codeswish) Different crowd Try a different face on for size Different way to think Talk in lower case cause I I don't act cool Like I used to Different crowd Try a different face on for size Different way to think Talk in lower case cause I I'm trying I am But I’m dying And I'm damned I can’t choose to go to heaven I’m supposed to be on earth to please you To be you With glass hearts made to see through Hold my tongue Get drunk Get fucked up Get young Maybe I know I won’t win this one Maybe I don’t Wanna win this one Maybe I just want you to see me The act I like to call the real me You’ll need me You’ll feed me You’ll heal me And you’ll grieve me when I’m gone People say I’m a bad guy Some people say that I’m good I don’t act out for attention And I’m not misunderstood I’m sorry ma’am I failed your class I did everything I could I didn’t really try Thought I know I should
4.
Saying Good Master What shall I do to in Heaven Eternal Lie? And Jesus said unto him Why call if thy mean good No-one is good Save one I long to love my torn fingertips The sweat on my shirt And the blood on my lips Cause everything that makes you hate me Just makes me love me so much more Those ropes'll bind you Till you learn to bind yourself (So much more) Let 'em crush you just to feel held Step into the rain and melt (So much more) Would you beg yourself for help If it got worse It might hurt But not as much As if you Left yourself do die What’s your alibi this time Always a reason Leave and don’t try Don’t cry You’re fine Please listen I know you hate my preaching I know you know I’m right Maybe I love myself too much I long to love my torn fingertips The sweat on my shirt And the blood on my lips Cause everything that makes you hate you Just makes me love you so much I long to love my torn fingertips The sweat on my shirt And the blood on my lips Cause everything that makes you hate you Just makes me love you so much more (Oh god) And I long to love The things I know I should But I never liked Hollywood So much I'd fake The hate that I give and take I won't claim that I'm perfect I'm damn sure more than worth it And I'm gorgeous when I'm burning Im burning And I love it Im drowning And I'm blushing Im smiling The flood and I are laughing When the flames lick my hair And leave kisses on bone When the pain comes for heart it finds nothing
5.
I’m smoking this god damn cigarette It’s fine I’m like It’s a little fuckin I’m really feeling this cigarette right now Afterwards The most like Gut-wrenching sadness I’ve ever Like it just wiped over me I walked to Yknow Get food or whatever I had a fuckin I had two cookies I had a slice of pizza I had my cranberry juice in hand I was all set I sat down And I’m just like I wanna die Like I’m not okay Like I was Like questioning my existence Like I felt so terrible And I’m staring at this god damn pizza My friend comes up he’s like What do you want You gonna eat that You okay That fucking killed me And then I I was feeling like shit for like two hours Two fucking hours I’m like Fuck And then it went away I took like a massive shit after I like just took a Like the Dude I took like such a mean ass shit And I felt like so much better (Get that shit outta your system) Dude no I like (So funny) I’m like Why the fuck do I feel like this And Kins like oh yeah That’s just an American spirit I’m like don’t ever give me one of those ever again I’ll stick to my Marlboros Delirium derived from fevers Love fever Just as severe as it can get Fucked up my cells (n life) Much needed Just don’t leave me at 105 too long Might melt the rest of the reason in my head away This city smells like cigarettes Saved for someone you haven’t met yet
6.
Clawfoot 04:20
Weed's the best vacation I could afford On the borderline It's a lonely life out there they say Meditate Or medicate It's all the same In a way Cause I fear I'll never Feel that way again The comforting smell lingers Embers burn my fingers I don’t know I don’t know what else to say Meditate Or medicate It's all the same In a way Cause I fear I'll never Feel that way again Falling apart in a clawfoot bath So tired of facing my facts I’d give you the shirt off my back Lapping the tears from their man made waterfalls Missing the feeling of swollen lips Cut cascade of hair that now sits How long do i have to wait and stare at The walls Ceiling Windows Way the wind blows You’re the air shifting through my damaged lungs I've yet to cough you up The first thing you start to lose is your mind You smoke dope Your memory just kinda fades away Until one day you can’t even find your stash Come on man it’s here I know it was here Somewhere I put it right here I think Where did I put it

credits

released April 7, 2023

Owen Galel Collins Estrada
Savanna Beauregard
Shuntavi Schuman-Olivier
Arie van Pelt
Jarrett Strzepek

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San Galel Boston, Massachusetts

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